Miscarriage…Blighted Ovum…2 terms I never thought would come out of my Doctor’s mouth at my first appointment. My heart was completely shattered.
This is my miscarriage story.
My name is Chelsea Luna and I am 29 years old. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for the last 8 months. Back in June of 2020 we found out that we were finally going to be parents! The day I took my test was the best day of my entire life. I have never felt such intense joy…such emotion! I was going to be a mama…all my dreams were coming true! Fast forward to August 3rd 2020...where my dream came to a sudden stop. This is the day I had my first eight-week OB appointment, the day I thought I would see my little peanut for the first time. The day every girl dreams about. May I remind you that it is 2020…and at this first appointment I wasn’t able to bring my husband due to Covid rules. So here I am in the chair getting ready to see my baby and I am filming everything since my husband cannot be there. They couldn’t find a baby, all they could find was an empty sack. Basically, all we could see was a giant black hole where a baby was supposed to be. This is called a Blighted Ovum, and it is a condition that occurs when a gestational sac develops without an embryo. It occurs when an embryo never develops, or stops developing. Usually there is no specific cause, and isn’t caught until the first ultrasound.
After the ultrasound tech explained everything to me I was completely heartbroken. My doctor let me know that sometimes these things happen and a few days later signs of life could show up that weren’t able to be detected. They advised me to come back the following week to make sure nothing had developed before I was instructed to get a D&C (Dilation & Curettage). So, with all the motivation I had, and with the prayers of a few close friends I went back the following week to see if anything had further developed. PLOT TWIST…they found a baby. I could not believe it! They had found a little baby in there that was measuring 5 weeks…meanwhile I was at the time supposed to be measuring 9 weeks. The ultrasound tech asked me if I had maybe miscalculated my dates and maybe I wasn’t as far along as I thought…well I have NEVER been good at math so I just prayed maybe she was right. Although they found a baby, they did not detect a heartbeat. So once again I was advised to wait another week or so and come back to see if anything further developed.
This was the LONGEST 2 weeks of my life. Just hoping and praying that this teeny tiny little baby had the strength to make it! So again, I went back and did another ultrasound and…nothing. No heartbeat, no two weeks of growth. Nothing. That’s when they told me I had officially had a miscarriage. What a whirlwind of emotions. The last 4 weeks had been a nightmare and a rollercoaster of emotions, and I didn’t think it could get any worse.
The physical act of having to have the miscarriage broke me to my core. It was a combination of physical and mental pain. But I am glad I chose to go with a less invasive, yet more painful, route because there are fewer side effects if you would like to try and conceive again in the future. Nothing really prepares you for something like this, and there really isn’t anything anyone can do to take this amount of pain away. I am so completely blessed to have had my family & my Natural Life family to get me through these hard times. So many amazing women reached out to me to share their stories and methods of coping.
Here are some things that were shared with me that helped me to begin to heal:
-Grief takes time, so LET IT TAKE TIME. Do not rush yourself to get back into the swing of things. It is ok to be hurt, to feel this pain. This is all part of healing.
-Everything is NOT OK and what I went through was NOT OK, and that is ok. But you are going to get through it!
-You will never forget what happened, but you will heal from it.
And a very dear friend shared special messages with me each day to keep me going- Like this one on my way to work…just a simple message or prayer like this can speak more than you know.
“Praying for you today sis. That God comforts you all day and brings you a nice little buffer from conversations or actions that bring you heartache. He is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
One important thing I want to share is how to talk with others going through a miscarriage.
Here are some very helpful ways to talk to someone during this difficult time:
I am 1 in 4.
I wanted to share my story so that others are aware of what could happen. It so important to share so that other women know they ARE NOT ALONE. I also wanted to share this story because there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There is hope!
I will never forget my first sweet little baby “Aylin Luna”. My husband and I chose this name because we are the Luna family and Aylin is a Turkish word for “baby belonging to the moon” or “moon halo”. We will always love you little moon baby!